Thursday, November 5, 2009

Kindness = please take time to read when you have time

Overwhelmed and emotional about all the words of support we are getting from friends via email, phone or in person. Greg is very loved. I get teary just thinking about it all. As his journey with cancer goes on now and in the future (there is no cure forseen for him, no chemo, no radiation even if it spreads) that is comforting. He and We will not have to travel it alone. We commented past times that we have prayers of thanksgiving that we do not have to face this alone - not by any means.

Emma and I did go to water exercise and to lunch. Slow as a turtle I have tried to rest, pick up a bit, take care of emptying our suitcase, put away a bit of laundry. My daughter Anna thinks she will come one day to help me catch up a bit before Greg's surgery so I am in better shape. He does so much to help me due to MS both around the house, and in my own care needs that it will be nice to have help.

The most creative and happily surprising offer of help we have is that there are people in Rochester who have a mutual friend of a volunteer for Helping Paws. Apparently they can likely help walk Emma there if I need that. I won't know till we get there but gosh a great offer.

i HAVE A BIT THOUGHT TO SHARE - in you have a friend or family in crisis. It is something we learned each episode of cancer. Many people say "if you need anything just call us". I do that too. But IF you can say "can I do this ...for you it is easier than asking someone. It is just so hard for us to ask for help.

THESE ARE WAYS PEOPLE HAVE HELPED US IN THE PAST. REMEMBER ALL THE OTHER YEARS I HAD KIDS LIVING AT HOME". MY YOUNGEST has seen age 9 known his Dad may die of cancer....among creative and thoughtful wonderful things people have done.

1. One neighbor did my laundry (at her home) she would collect a hamper from each kid (not all at once) and bring it back. Now that is not a big issue for two of us but when 6 lived here it was huge huge. It was a stay at home mom neighbor with one child who loved to do laundry. But she was shocked a bit to find out how much more ha ha I had with more kids and girls especially. We still joke about it. It was a person in our neighborhood and who went to our church.

2. Meals - again this time Greg and I will be fine...but with the kids it was so helpful especially the first time Greg was so weak and it took so long to get better.. The kids kid me though to consider NOT sending lasagna. When Greg had a full kidney removed and was so ill with long recovery we grateful got a lot of meals but a lot of lasagna. I could never get sick of it though ha ha. My children say now they always send something else.
One friend sent sloppy joe's (my kids loved that), Greg's work that summer coworkers sent a cooler of frozen meals we could use as needed. I heard one friend they sent pizza take out gift certificates for teens.

3. A twist on Meals - one friend did this that someone who had done it for her sister. She dropped off a meal, flowers, paper table items. It was around the 4th of July. Our kids knew her and together had fun setting the table pretty. She didn't know it but when we had come home we had been at a Dr appointment with not such good news. it was so chearful.

4. Springtime - we had a family call when Greg was call. All i was told is some friends from church were coming to have a barbeque for the family. Do nothing, don't worry if the house is clean it will be outdoor. BARBEQUE it was. They brought a crew. They mowed our yard, planted all our gardens, and offered to do any outside chores. Greg normally has had this happen in spring so planting our gardens has happened more than once by various family or friends. His sisters and mine did it one year and loved a hands on way to help out. Creative huh.

5. We have had people help with rides. Now I may have to ask for that this time since I don't drive. I already have a few offers to drive me to grocery store, to just get me out of the house, to medical appointments...always a good idea.

6. Another creative idea - One year church people brought school supplies for my kids. Not that I couldn't afford them but i had not yet even thought of them. One thanksgiving a friend bought us the meal preprepared. Again this year my kids and I will handle it all but might keep it simple.

Not all have been church but neighbors, relatives, friends all have amazed and surprised us in the past. One time it was just horrid as I was so bad off and we didn't know yet it was MS, Our engine blew up on our van, I couldn't walk. Friends loaned us a car, etc etc.

7. The first time at Mayo I was so stunned and we had never been there. A relative called I have rooms for you booked and paid for stay as long as you need and use room service if you need too. Honest the moral support meant more than even the generous money (I was unemployed at the time) as I had not a clue what to do next and we were so devastated at it all.

I am scared but how can anyone be bitter. Even with the sad times of his cancer and my MS we have been so touched by love of others and care.

ONE FAVOR please pray for his sister Sharon's family. We miss her so much. She was a cheerleader to help us through all the past episodes of cancer. She insisted on going with us, she would take kids places to get their mind off it all, feed them or take them swimming. She helped me stay glued and helped if I fell apart emotionally briefly. But she won't be with us. Last time we had cancer we didn;t know this nor did she. Turned out she got pancreatic cancer and died herself of this dreadful disease. She is rooting for us in heaven now...we miss her so much it is so painful.

Okay now I am crying and i wanted this blog to speak of the wonderful kindness of people. I have tried to do the same for others but I am not sure ever have been so creative or generous....

God bless you all for prayers....Mary

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