Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Okay this is a snow picture. I goofed and somehow deleted a photo from Greg's iphone that was more recent. Well this will do for today.
Ever had one of those days? Well I had a crappy day. Seems like just lots of things went wrong some very small issues but it all added up. We are hoping tomorrow goes better. I had a good cry with Emma and we are going to bed early. Hopefully that will help.
The strange thing is two issues about Emma cropped up. On the one hand at swimming there is a couple that comes and the woman who has MS just can't keep her hands off Emma, and wants to pet her and give her treats. Well it is out of hand and the women is not listening to me. I tried. Everyone else seems to be handle it but she "can't help herself". I did a mistake and let her on occasion give Emma a treat. OKay my error. She won't take the message no treats, don't call Emma and don't grab out to pet Emma. She is distracting Emma from her focus on me. I will try talking to her again next week. If that doesn't work I am going to have Greg call or write her a letter.
Part of the issue is Emma rests on a towel during part of swimming. So I am not right at her side. Then if anyone goes by they can reach down and pet her. One time she called her and Emma went over to her over on the other side of the pool. I was so mad and made it clear they were not to do that ever. I mean do I need dog cops to get it through to these people. I have heard sob sob how she misses her yellow lab but this is making me crazy. We see her in the locker room and go past her to get into the pool...anyway I need to vent. I will handle it for sure. All of my other friends or classmates there seem to understand the rules regarding Emma. They are out of town parts of the winter and spring so now they are back and it seems worse.
At times I am using a walker more and Emma is handling that great. She knows I need her. I will try moving her resting spot to a different area near the pool and that will also likely help.
On the other hand, my feelings were hurt by someone else who is a friend there. She is no longer willing to give me rides if Emma is with me. She has a "new" car and worried Emma will damage it???? Last week she drove us and now she won't let Emma on a seat but only in her hatch back. She has a rubber floor there but also a shelf type thing for groceries. Okay I felt there wasn't enough room for Emma anyway. If she won't transport me with Emma fine I will use Metro Mobility or other options. She also won't let Emma in her house so doesn't invite me over so I knew that discomfort.
She also thought having Emma in the car meant she would have to hose it down inside??????? And we did cover the area well where Emma layed. She is worried when Emma jumps in that she might scratch the outside and put a cover on the whole rear portion too. Okay okay there was not enough room for Emma. Her car is so important to her etc. I get that. I will respect that.
Then as she was explaining it to me the tough part was she went on and on. How she doesn't like dogs etc. I feel like maybe she resented giving me rides in her "old" car and wished she would have said so at the time. She also thinks I should leave Emma at home more and clearly doesn't not understand her role in my life. After ten years of friendship and over five years with Emma that is what hurt my feeling badly. She also does not want me to tell anyone what she said because she is afraid they will think she is "mean" (her words not mine).
Again not wanting to give me a ride is one thing. Telling me I should go more places without Emma really really irritated me. She wants me to keep doing this and that with her too (so she doesn't have to do things alone) but not bring Emma. Other things made the day tough too so though I held it together while with the group from MS water exercise. I came home and cried. To top it off i really need a ride with metro mobility for a dr appointment tomorrow and they left a message as i was on standby. They want to pick me up during the appointment. A mix up certainly but a crabby receptionist bitched me out on that too.
Well after my good cry my son in law who lives in S Mpls is going to pick me up in New Brighton to take me to my son's house in NE MPLS. I am going to wait there and Greg will pick me up after work. Rosa is coming home with us to stay overnight tomorrow so that is a good thing. Tomorrow should be better I think.
I am preaching to the choir. Anyone who reads this regularily respects the role of a service dog. They know she is not a "pet" and even would respect why I like having a pet...though she is much more than a pet. My friend?? kept trying to justify more and more over the hour swim lesson why she couldn't have Emma in her car and her remarks only made it worse. Just say my new car is so special no dogs allowed and skip it. The more she said the more it hurt my feelings. Especailly if I am right and she feels like she was a saint or something to tolerate Emma in her car that was older. I never knew it was so awful to have Emma in her car...
I guess it is like insulting you about your child. I don't need a ride from anyone who would rather not. i will take metro mobility or change my plans or something. I also don't need people to try to on the one case try to win Emma's affection and attention because they miss their dog. One time they held out a really good treat and called Emma. I was not aware what they were doing - and to Emma they are not strangers. i was unsteady and Emma almost pulled me over. Then everyone in my class backed me up when I told them firmly they cannot do that. That time I was distracted and more unsteady than normal.
I was surprised Emma pulled like that. I have never had that happen before or after. I do think hey red flag people and back off for sure. There is another dressing room but it requires lots of stairs. I need the family/handicapped room like this women does. So anyway I will be sure they knock off the treats and leave Emma alone. I can do that.
On the other extreme finding a close friend totally does not understand the role of Emma was really tough to take. She doesn't want anyone else to know but how will they not realize she is not giving me rides? I need to ask others or use Metro Mobility. Class is at noon in the summer so it is way to early for Greg to drop me off on his way to work.
Well there is more to the whole story but I have vented enough. Now the friend wants me to go to do some things with her Friday. I am not going to leave Emma home just to spend time with her. I really have other things I can do anyway. I am not against leaving Emma alone once in awhile as needed. I just am going to be the one to decide. I am no longer going to be guilted into doing things I don't want to do in order for this friend not to be lonely.
I hope I don't sound like a creep. Both extremes hit me on a day when I didn't feel so great anyway. Also lots of other personal concerns on my mind. You may think I share everything here (I have been criticized for that too) but i really don't. The car thing is really the very very very very least of my worries. The way it was handled did feel hurtful though.
I also could use some sunshine. Rained after swimming today and I guess all day tomorrow too. Being outside with Emma is such a day brightener.
I actually have two dr appointments tomorrow, one for some tests, and so it will be a full day. Seeing Rosa will be awesome. If Greg's boss will allow he hopes to leave work a bit early to have more time with Rosa and i and Emma.
Don't get me wrong most people in my life really support me and know what Emma means to me. My own sister though wont let her in her car either not even for a few blocks if she comes out to meet us for breakfast. She won't allow her in her house either and last time they had a picnic at their home she and her husband did not want me to bring Emma even if she stayed outside. She lives almost an hour from me and the event was going to be several hours. Well she doesn't invite me over anyway so I can live with that. oops relatives read this I probably should not have said that...oh well.
I thank God that Greg and my children and grandchildren recognize how fantastic Emma is and what she means to me.
Again not wanting her in your car, house whatever is your decision but don't also say things that lead me to believe you question if she should go with me etc............
Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry if I offend anyone but writing this.
Mary and Emma