A Reflection on Being A Mother

8 days till we leave for MS Majestic Shores Resort. Hope the weather is nicer than today. It is cooler and even snowed a bit last night. Rain and snow today but things should get warmer - I think anyway.

We are at Greg's work as I write this. He had to stop in to do some things in preparation for tomorrow's Masses and social times after Masses. He is such a hard worker. Very dependable and conscientious. After he finishes we will be having dinner with some of my children to celebrate Mother's Day since he works all day tomorrow. I am very happy we will get together. Mike and Tia and the girls had a birthday party to go to so need to celebrate with them another day. They will be missed. But we are trying to get use to the idea that as the family grows we can't always get everyone together at the same time. We are grateful they are all in the Metro area at least.

I love being a mom. I wanted to be a mother from the days when I played with dolls. Then I got older and did a lot of babysitting for my nieces, nephews, and the neighbors also. I just loved working with children. I even studied child psychology for a few years in college. I wanted to be a mom and a good mother to my children of course. I always hoped they could describe me as a caring mom, who also knew how to have fun.

I am curious now and wonder what type of mom they think I am. Sometimes I have a tough time accepting that they are all grown up and worry I am too pushy or interfering. Other times I worry that due to my many imperfections and flaws that I should have done this or that different as I raised them.

Truth is I did the very best I could at the time based on what I knew. I loved them to pieces (that is a weird phraise but what I tell them) and really enjoyed my time with them. I treasured every moment. I have so many memories of those days and nights taking care of them, sharing fun discoveries with them, going to the zoo, museum, swimming and so many other things.

I also treasured the times just at home spending time together. Watching them pretend, dress up, reading to them...the endless wonderful moments you get to share when you are a mother.

I feel blessed, humbled and grateful for my children. Now I am a mother-in-law and our family has expanded to include Tia, and Justin. That is also rewarding to see my adult children venture off to have families of their own. So happy to have Tia and Justin in the family.

Of course there is also my granddaughters Sophia and Rosa. See all the blessing in my life? I won't see them today but just hold close to my heart the times when we do get together. They are such bundles of enthusiasm and insight. Being their grandmother is another joy.

So how can I help but feel really grateful for my children. Thank goodness I have Emma now to help share time with me. Physically I could not handle those busy years where I parented 4 and did day care and worked on my masters degree...but I do miss the sports events, parades, school plays, library nights, trips to the zoo, girl scouts, 4 H ,,,,well you get the idea.

Now getting use to quieter days and less energy and MS problems can be a challenge. Emma helps me fill my time, snuggles with me, goes outdoors with me and assists me in so many ways.

The support of my busy husband and children, all those things help. But it also helps to have so many memories that I hold dear.

Gosh I am all teary now. I feel so fortunate to be a mother. I have always told my children though I love being a wife, daughter, aunt, teacher and the many roles in my life. Being a mom was the greatest.

We celebrate Mother's Day tonight. On Sunday I will be remembering fondly my times with my children. Maybe it is time to pull out some of the old photos. The memories fill my heart with joy. Now being a Grandmother is a new adventure.

Hope you have a great weekend. I don't have a mother living anymore but will also thank God for her sense of humor, kindness and the things I learned from her.

Happy Mother's Day to all.

Mary and Emma